Saturday, June 21, 2008

The Being In The Band Phenomenon

Alright, I know that nobody is going to be able to explain this phenomenon to me, mainly because you would have to be a woman and so few read this blog.

But for you guys...holy shit what a gig! It happens almost every Friday and Saturday night. You go to a bar, a live band is playing, and as sure as hell there will be a row of "groupies" dancing in front of the stage (whether the music is dance able or not).

Now, I am not sure, even as a woman, what the hell happens here. Even on a psychological level I can not pin it down. I am sure it has something to do with the alpha dog effect, but I can not say for sure.

What I can say for sure is that if you are having absolutely no luck whatsoever with women, then pick up a guitar, bass guitar, or a set of drums and learn to play. Find a band that is doing at least bar gigs, and join it! I swear to you if you leave your mother's basement and can refrain from playing the world or warcraft long enough to be on that WILL get laid.

I can not explain WHY you will get laid, but you will. You could weigh 500 lbs., dripping with sweat, hair or no hair, and smelling like fritos and ass - AND YOU STILL ARE GET LAID THAT NIGHT! Those groupies are at least willing to go down on you.

Sometimes I don't even understand my own sex...just know that it is going to take more than a guitar in your hands and some shitty rendition of an AC/DC song to get me to go anywhere with you, let alone down. And you could have a record deal and fill stadiums, if you are not what I want, that you are not going to get what you want.

I guess I do not understand the groupie mentality. But be sure that groupie is going to be on every stiff member in the room at the "after party". So no game, no problem. Join the band boys! Just wrap the rascal...think of how many other "after parties" these girls have been at!

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