Thursday, June 5, 2008

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true.

There are other ways to say this...what you reap, you sow, whether you think you can or can not do it-you are correct, what you believe-you can achieve, etc.

It may not be obvious to you, a lot of people take it for granted. Ultimately, beliefs about a subject control your experience of that subject. For instance, if in your beliefs, you think that you can never get the hot chicks, those beliefs about hot chicks prevent you from getting the very thing you want...the hot chicks!

Sometimes it is not a conscious effort. If during your experiences at trying to hook up, you can not relate to yourself any time that you were successful at getting the hot chicks, then suddenly that becomes the norm for all of your experiences.

This usually starts when you are a young, awkward teenager trying to ask the girls out for a date. And more than likely you were shot down, usually heartlessly because in high school we tend to be bitches, I ain't going to lie.

As cruel as it sounds, something in nature at that time makes us girls do all we can to break your ego. Now, before you go all crazy, it is not our faults, it is a flaw that seems to be hard wired in us. My belief is because we mature faster, and gain our confidence faster than teenage boys, and then the "oh you are sooo not going to get this" chic comes out of us.

But I am getting off course. . .

To get back to the guys, that first rejection is a significant event that will mold a lot in a boy, subconsciously. That rejection sets the standard for his beliefs (particularly his belief in himself). Now that the standard is set, the ego takes over, it has a template to follow and feed. Now a sort of filter is set so that you tend to ignore and forget positive events with women and dating, and focus, intensely, on all the negative events with women and dating. A "yes" or an easy let down does not get through the filter and remembered. But all the "bitches" and "humiliation rejections" make it right past the filter. Each one only re-inforcing the "standard" that every time you interact with a woman, you are expecting a repeat of that first rejection to play over and over and over again. And since the "filter" only lets in those experiences to re-inforce itself, it becomes a pattern. Usually this all happens subconsciously.

This is a long explanation, but the bottom line is if you expect you are going to fail miserably with asking a woman out....well, you are!

Until next time,
~ Venus

**** The Cat Is Out!!...If you think the above was a good explanation, then you need to go get my First in a dating series of writings, "The Oldest Battle" for free at:
I would like some opinions please-be honest, always be honest...
~ Venus

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